by Hannaan Joplin,
?You got to take the risk to reap in the full benefit, ?I got something deep, if you would just release and take it in?? ? ?HB Sol the Policy King, ?Release?
As an only child who was never forced to share with or sacrifice for anyone, I can truly say that I have been the definition of selfish person. Oddly, throughout my life, I have always been drawn to organizations, careers and occupations that involved helping others. Both of my parents have worked for community based organization as well as large nonprofits that focused on outreach and exemplified generosity. Eventually, as a teenager and later as an adult, I would become involved with similar organizations and create this fa?ade of being open and generous. Those who didn?t really know me would come to see me as this selfless person. I was able to hide my true nature very well; at least to those that didn?t really know.
However, those that really knew me understood how self-involved I could be, especially family, close friends and relationship mates. In fact, my selfishness has cost me some very meaningful relationships in the past and nearly cost me my present family relationship. My wife would often bring to me those things that I did to make her upset and feel unloved, and I would often promise her that I would change. However, sooner than later, I would go right back to doing the same old stuff.
When she informed me that she was pregnant and that our son would soon come, my selfishness persisted still. And then?he arrived. I saw him face to face in the delivery room it was the most surreal moment I have ever had in my life. Something inside of me shifted that day?FINALLY. I finally, at the depths of my being understood the consequences of my selfish ways and the impact it had and could have on those closest to me. I understood the impact that it had on my wife and my two step children and the impact that it could have on my newborn, my first born.
I?didn?t?have to decide to change; I changed. I no longer perceived that it was me versus everyone else. I began to think family first, then myself. I sacrificed time and energy in ways that I never could before and enjoyed doing it. I felt more joy and closer to my family. I felt closer to and started sharing more with my wife. I shared all of those things that she had to pull teeth in order to get me to share only weeks earlier. It felt RIGHT to be intimate with my wife and family. I feel more vulnerable and yet more fulfilled and happier than I ever have. From this experience, I have learned one lesson about successful relationships that I will share today.
Lesson #1-Relationships REQUIRE intimacy and intimacy and selfishness cannot exist in the same space. When you and your mate disagree, automatically seek to understand the issue from his or her point of view, instead of just your own. When this is done wholeheartedly, the sense of connection to your mate will be palpable.
Thank you to my wife, kids and all of those in my life who have attempted to teach me this lesson time and time again and to my newborn son for finally bringing it home. It has only been four weeks since you arrive, yet you have already changed my heart forever.
Releasing?
BMWK ? like the author, have you ever had a moment that caused you to re-think how your actions were impacting your family and that caused you to do things differently? ?Please share.
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